Revisiting Jewel

For whatever reason, I recently picked up my copy of Jewel's book of poetry, "A Night Without Armor." Regardless of her poetic correctness or talent (or, some say, lack thereof,) as I page through it, I can't help but be reminded of my teenaged self, of how much her words spoke to me years ago. I often felt like such a ravaged and tortured soul back then (didn't we all!?!?) Now, all I can think is "thank god I got through that!!!" Here are a few of my favorites, for old times' sake:
Saved from Myself

How often I've cried out
in silent tongue
to be saved
from myself

in the middle of the night
too afraid
to move

horrified the answer
may be beyond the
capability of my
own two hands

so small

(no one should feel this alone)

Insecurity

you don't call
I check again
I become uneasy—
is this a frame?
Suddenly I'm not so sure
I check my sources
each conversation becomes a crumb
how easily I'm led
how stupid I've been
to believe
you could be
loving me
you who can not be seduced
by anything other than
the temperance
of need
each one facilitating the next
and suddenly I see my place
the phone rings
you say hello
but I don't believe you

I Guess What I Wanted Was

I guess what I
wanted was
to hear

you'd stay with me always.

I guess what I
wanted was
to see

those hands vowing
never to leave my own.

I guess what I
wanted was
to know

I am not loving in vain.

Lost

Lost
is a puzzle
of stars
that breathes
like water
and chews
like stone

Alone
is a reminder
of how far
acceptance
is from
understanding

Fear
is a bird
that believes itself
into extinction

Desperation
the honest recognition
of a false truth

Hope
seeing who you really are
at your highest
is who you will become

Grace
the refinement of a
Soul through time
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